8 Life Lessons You Should Never Teach Your Kids
In this blog post, we will explore the importance of deliberate teaching for children and discuss 8 lessons we should avoid teaching them at all costs. Children constantly learn from their surroundings, which means they will observe and absorb behaviors and attitudes from those around them.
To ensure they learn the right lessons, creating an environment conducive to positive learning experiences is crucial.
The Importance of Deliberate Teaching
Children are learning all the time, no matter what you do. They will look at people, learn, observe, and teach themselves. Therefore, creating an environment where the best learning happens means teaching deliberately. This helps prevent them from learning the wrong lessons, especially at the wrong time. Some lessons are best learned later in life, once they’ve developed a strong foundation of understanding.
For instance, in our family, before allowing my child to read a book like “Mein Kampf” by Adolf Hitler, I ensure they’ve read foundational texts like the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, and perhaps the Constitution of the United States. This approach lays a foundation of understanding before introducing potentially confusing material. While parents and teachers often apply this method to educational subjects, it’s equally important to be deliberate in teaching social and behavioral lessons to our children.
Lesson 1: Avoid Teaching Children to Interrupt or Backtalk
If you interrupt your children every time they’re talking to you, they will learn to interrupt to control a situation. Similarly, if you allow them to backtalk when you instruct or correct them, they will see it as a useful skill. Allowing backtalk reinforces a negative behavior that makes communication difficult.
Lesson 2: Avoid Teaching Emotional Reactivity
Children learn to react emotionally by observing their parents. Children will mimic this behavior if a parent reacts emotionally to news or disagreements. Teaching children to react emotionally to situations leads to emotional bondage, where they feel compelled to repeat these reactions, which is unhealthy.
Lesson 3: Avoid Teaching Distancing and Ignoring
Children should learn how to solve problems instead of distancing themselves from problems. While dropping a subject can be a deliberate choice, ignoring issues altogether teaches passivity. Empowering children with problem-solving skills is crucial for their development.
Lesson 4: Avoid Creating a Habit of Stimulation or Distraction
Constant stimulation, such as TV or other distractions, can hinder a child’s ability to focus. This can lead to a habit of seeking distractions, which may contribute to increased diagnoses of ADD and ADHD. Teaching children to accept a “no” answer and focus on productive activities is essential.
Lesson 5: Avoid Teaching Stress and Anxiety
While certain factors contribute to stress and anxiety, nurturing these feelings in children can be detrimental. Parents should empower children with strategies to regulate stress and anxiety, rather than rationalizing these emotions and keeping them in a victim position.
Lesson 6: Avoid Teaching Judgment of Others
While teaching good judgment and discernment is important, teaching children to judge others can lead to negative behaviors. Gossiping or overly judging others teaches children to compare and box individuals, which can be harmful.
Lesson 7: Avoid Teaching Perfectionism
Perfectionism can lead to low self-confidence and social anxiety. Encouraging children to accept imperfections and learn from mistakes fosters a healthier mindset. Parents should provide grace and understanding when things aren’t perfect.
Lesson 8: Avoid Teaching Emotional Entitlement
Overemphasizing emotions can create an unsafe environment where children feel trapped by their feelings. Teaching children to understand and regulate their emotions objectively, without making them all-consuming, is crucial for emotional strength.
